I'm Fine
by shmielthemanofsteel
Summary: Theory of a story based off press releases for Chasing Ghosts and Berlin.


"Berlin? Why go there for the summer?" Tony asked from behind the partition, making Ziva jump.

She quickly closed the tab she was on and said, "It is nothing."

"It's gotta be something if you're actually taking a vacation this year for it." He countered

"I like Berlin and I like to travel. That is all." Ziva got up and left the squad room.

Tony walked to his other partner's desk. "That was strange."

"There's nothing strange about wanting to take a few weeks off of work over the summer, Tony."

"Not when we're talking about Ziva." He stated, then added, "She's been up to something lately and I want to Know what."

"I'm not going to-"

No questions. Do it, McHack." The phone at Tony's desk rang, so he picked it up. "Yeah?"

"Need you in Observation, DiNozzo." Gibbs answered.

"On my way." Tony hung up and started leaving. "Don't tell anyone about this, Tim."

The ex-Baltimore cop watched as his silver haired boss slowly and meticulously squeezed a suspect. His concentration broke when he heard the door behind him open as McGee stepped in, bearing a file.

"What'd you find?" he asked warily.

Tim sighed as he handed over the file, "Nothing you're gonna like."

Tony skimmed through it, absorbing everything he saw.

"Alright. Thanks. Cover me?" The agent ran out once more.

Tony took a deep breath as he grabbed the handle and pushed open the door. He quickly checked the stalls to affirm that there was no one else there before locking the door and turning to his partner.

"Something wrong, Tony?" she asked tentatively.

"Y'know, I've been thinking. Berlin…just doesn't seem to fit. Something… tropical would make more sense.

"Maybe I wanted something different." Ziva replied coolly.

He turned on her quickly. "How are you, Ziva?'

She was taken aback by his seemingly random question. "I- I…I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Damn it, Ziva! Don't say that, because you and I both know you're not!" he raised his voice.

"Tony-"

"For once- just this once- can you _please _tell me what's wrong?"

"Who said anything was wrong?" she asked, slowly.

"This." He held up the file. "You've known where Bodnar was for a while now- he's been in Berlin. Why didn't you tell me? I could help!"

"Maybe I don't want your help! Ever consider that?" Ziva countered with as much intensity.

"You know you can't face him alone- you _need_ my help!"

"You are wrong! What I need is to seek vengeance alone!"

"Stop pushing me away." Tony said calmly. "Stop saying you're fine, cause you're not fooling anyone. And most of all, stop acting stupid. Stop making yourself out to be a martyr."

"I am not trying to be a martyr." Ziva told him evenly.

"Then let me help." Tony pleaded.

"No. You can't help. I do not want help and frankly, I do not want to die, but if it comes to that-"Her voice broke, "then so be it. At least… you are safe and there is no chance of you being killed. Don't you see, Tony? I need to do this alone. It is.. better that way."

"See, that's where you're wrong. You don't have a choice in whether I come or not. I let you go once, but that's not gonna happen this time. Go ahead, put a bullet in the bastard Bodnar's head, but I'll be there as well."

"Tony, what part of 'no' do you not understand? I will not allow you to come with. I have known Ilan Bodnar for a long time. His team will kill you, slowly. I cannot allow that."

"He's…expecting you to find him? Ziva, that's suicide!"

"I'm fine with that. He will also be dead. It would be a completed mission and my reward… would be to see my family again. You do not understand what it's like to lose everything or to carry around the weight of all this death. I am not strong enough- I never was. I was never supposed to be the one who survived. So I am fine with putting down the weight of the world and joining them. They are all dead because of me."

Tony raised his hand to cup it around the side of her face. "Ziva, none of their deaths were your fault. I hate it when you talk like that. It hurts me to know that you want death that badly."

She tried to pull away but failed, so she rested her hand over his. "But it was my fault. My father wouldn't have died if he was not here visiting me. _I_ killed Ari. I could have prevented Tali's death. My mother was killed by a hit man sent by my father so that he could have custody over Tali and I. _So do not tell me their deaths were not my fault._"

Ziva broke down, sobbing. Tony moved with her when she fell to a crouch and he pulled her into himself, rubbing her back. They were in this position until several minutes had passed and Ziva had calmed enough for Tony to speak.

"I had no idea, Ziva. But I can't let you face Bodnar like this. I organized toe rescue mission in- I mean, last time. There's no point in being reckless. Keep living for me. I promise you won't regret it!" He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

A small smile formed on Ziva's lips. "What exactly are you promising, Tony?"

"Let's get rid of Bodnar and then I'll tell you." He smirked, helping her up to her feet.

Ziva took a breath, "Ok, let's go."

Tony smiled at her for a moment before quickly kissing her on the cheek. Before he could pull back, she turned her head until they were lip to lip. They took a moment to enjoy the kiss between them. It was full of emotions. Bitter, because of the words they had exchanged, yet sweet because they had been waiting nine years for something this real, this right.

Too soon, Tony thought, Ziva pulled back. "Never mind. Now we can go."


End file.
